Are you ever accused of being too sensitive?
Was it used to invalidate your feelings?
Me too, let me share what happened to me recently and what I’ve learned on my own healing journey.
Recently I found myself triggered in the most unexpected way!
It was unexpected not in the sense that I didn’t know it was there.
In the contrary, I’m extremely aware of its presence because I’ve done so much inner work. It was unexpected because it was in an environment where I never dreamed my superpower would be used against me or to excuse someone else’s behaviour.
The trigger was being called ‘too sensitive’.
Truth bomb here, there is no such thing as being too sensitive.
Imagine for a moment that sensitivity is on a scale, some of us have very little of it while some of us, are far more attuned to ourselves, others and the world.
We instantly know what and who feels right to us and, what and who doesn’t.
In acknowledging the trigger, I recognise that it was giving me a signal that the situation is not aligned to me. Therefore, it was my responsibility to change the situation, to find alignment but not, to change myself.
This matters because labelling someone as being too sensitive invalidates them and for many of us, we have spent most of our lives bending and shaping to achieve someone else’s idea of perfect.
Invalidation dismisses experiences, thoughts and above all emotions.
Indeed, the intention is not to even allow you to have emotions in an effort to ‘keep you in your box’ and control you.
As a child, being called ‘too sensitive’ was used as a weapon in this way and as a result, I learned at a very early age to be ashamed of feeling.
Feelings like anger at being smacked, upset at being scapegoated, anxiety about situations I had never been empowered to face, were all dismissed because my ‘caregiver’ didn’t have the skills, maturity or interest to deal with them.
The deep wounding that comes from that sort of parenting means that you rarely have a sense of who you are and without that, your life has very little value.
It is little wonder that there is a high rate of suicide amongst those raised this way and indeed, I was almost one of those statistics too.
However, by doing the deep searching inner work helps me to understand my childhood. Now I recognise that I’m no longer in that place of danger, it allows me to embrace my sensitivity.
It means that now I use my sensitivity as the superpower it is.
I’ve learned to trust myself implicitly because despite what others may project, I know myself best.
It helps me to be a deeply intuitive therapist, instantly reading my client’s energy and I often know what they need long before they do.
For anyone who has someone in their life who they regard as too sensitive, I ask you to consider what it is you are wanting to deny that person?
Are their emotions too much for your inner child to deal with?
Or, are they simply drawing attention to something you don’t want to acknowledge?
Whatever the reason, it’s an indication of the work for you to do, not them.
Equally, if you are on the receiving end of this injury, know that there is no such thing, your feelings are real, they do matter and you are not wrong to feel.
You do not have work to do to change it, they have work to do around their own emotional intelligence, look on them with compassion for their lack of understanding, sensitivity and growth.
Accept your sensitivity, you bring empathy and understanding to the world, let it work for you and please, never feel you need to hide it
If I can help you with any of this, please feel free to tap into my superpower, I’m here for it all 💛