The responses to my last post, have been heart warming. It is so reassuring to know that there are so many like minded people out there who really want to make a difference to the people around them.
Some of your messages were asking, ‘ How do we really connect with others?’
So, I thought it might be useful to share a shap shot of my replies. While connecting with others means something different to each of us, to make meaningful connections, the following factors are usually involved:
We trust the other person who we are connecting with, this is crucial because without trust, the other elements cannot truly happen. This is why it is so important to find our tribe of like minded people. If you do not trust those you are currently interacting with, thank them for the lesson and move on.
We are completely honest, so even if we are not feeling especially great, we share it. By being honest and sharing your feelings, you are allowing the other person to do the same and when this happens, you cannot fail but to connect.
We feel empathy and kindness towards the other person, it would be rare to find a connection without kindness. We may believe we are connecting if we are talking and criticising others, but actually criticism simply closes us down and we often finish that conversation feeling unfulfilled, guilty or exhausted. If you find, more often than not, that kindness is missing from the usual content of your conversations, try to include it and watch your connections deepen.
To connect meaningful, we must be fully available and present in the moment. This means that we are not thinking about what has hurt us in the past or worrying about what the future may hold. Instead, we are fully engaged in the experience we are sharing at that present moment.
Just be yourself. This is a major one that many of us struggle with, especially if you have unresolved issues. You can never truly connect with someone until you are being yourself. However, so many people play a role and how exhausting that must be, so if you interact with someone who is always complaining about being tired but there is no real reason for it, be wary.
However, the great rewards that true connections bring are worth navigating the minefield and as last week’s post explained, bring so many great rewards.