After sharing Annie’s story and the consequences for her of not expressing her feelings, I thought it might be useful to share some insight into how to release those pesky feelings without blowing an emotional gasket.
Firstly, if you start to think of your feelings as being like energy this helps you to understand that they are not here to stay, they are always on the move. Just like the electrical wires in your home the energy has to flow, it doesn’t stay stuck in the sockets and your feelings are the same.
The difference is, that you have to allow your feelings to flow so they don’t become stuck because when that happens, they begin to show themselves in other ways such as medical conditions or anger and frustration.
Thinking of emotions in this way and believing that they don’t stay forever will help you to accept that when you are feeling particularly low, you are not going to feel that way forever.
Feelings are like really persistent visitors that you just don’t want to let in but they keep knocking at your door anyway.
If you don’t let them in, they will keep showing up in your life regardless, although you may not always recognise them. This is because, if you spend too long trying to ignore your feelings, they will manifest so it becomes more and more difficult to identify how you are actually feeling.
So, here are five tips to help you;
Check in with yourself
I’m willing to bet you know how everyone else around you are feeling on most days but, what about you?
Ask yourself: “How am I today?”
Recognising how you feel each day is such a fundamental part of your self-care. The more you do it, you will begin to become aware of how you feel in certain situations and then, you will quickly start to notice what triggers you.
Knowing this allows you to respond rather than react, thereby providing 90% of the solution because then you have the choice.
Your feelings are your compass to guide you through life, they let you know when things are right for you or not. It’s so important to regularly check in with how you are feeling and listen to any messages your intuition is giving you.
Name how you are feeling
Start to name how you are feeling and go deep, doing this will start to give you some real insight.
Let’s use sad as an example for this, if you are feeling sad ask yourself why? Is it because you are hurt or lonely? Or do you feel guilty, vulnerable or depressed?
Then complete this sentence, I feel ………. because I am ……….. and this makes me feel……………
So, an example of a completed sentence using sad might be;
I feel sad because I am lonely and this make me feel vulnerable.
Or, I feel sad because I am hurt and this makes me feel helpless.
Naming your emotions and then delving into them in this way, gives you a deeper understanding into how you are really feeling and why. It also allows you to reflect and begin to truly connect with yourself.
Accept how you are feeling
But in order to truly connect, you must accept your feelings.The key is to not tell yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling this way.
It is very easy to talk yourself out of how you feel and you will do that for many different reasons. But it is usually because at some point you have been taught it is ‘wrong’ to feel like this.
So, start to get into the practice of accepting how you feel without berating yourself for it.
Write it down
Once you have checked in with yourself, named how you are feeling and accepted it.
Begin writing, brain dump all your feelings onto paper.
If you start with writing;
Today I feel ………. because I am ……….. and this makes me feel……………
Then just let it flow and write it all out.
This is a brilliant way of letting your feelings move with your pen and then, they don’t get stuck or suppressed.
Be careful not to censor your writing, remember you have accepted how you feel.
Importantly, your writing doesn’t have to be in a journal because, if you are a perfectionist, it may hinder your flow. Also, you might be tempted to suppress your words which represent your feelings.
Instead, write on a piece of paper that will be easy for you to throw away or keep, depending on how you feel.
Let it go
When you have finished writing, this is your opportunity to choose to let the feelings go.
In many respects this is the most important part because it gives you back your power to choose.
It is so empowering for you say to yourself, “I choose to let this go,” and then actually do it because then you can begin to heal.
If I can help you with any of this, get in touch 💛